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Top 3 ways to not let Christmas get the best of you

Top 3 ways to not let Christmas get the best of you

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The season of giving and yule time cheer is here again.  For many of us, the thought of it sends shivers down our spine.  In my personal experience, it is because of the baggage that comes with it.  Our baggage can be vast and deep.  To simplify this discussion, I will just focus on my own baggage that accumulated over the years.  My hope is that some helpful tips come out of it for you to apply for yourself.

I am a child of a divorced home.  As difficult as divorce can be, it has brought lots of joys and blessings.  The best example is the addition of new family over the years as my parents slowly remarried.  My step-mother and her family have enriched my life in more ways than I can say.  It certainly needs more words than what I can write in this blog.  A novel would probably be more fitting.  The enrichment far outweighs the negatives.  Never the less, the negatives have been difficult over the years.  Most notably during Christmas.

Christmas can be hard on every family due to all the things that need to be accomplished like gifts, meals, and coordination to make sure all family members are available.  Imagine doubling that.  There are now twice as many people that you now need to consider and pay for.  A year ago my wife and I were married.  We now have to manage three families during the holidays.  That equals triple the trouble.  On the flip side, it is triple the fun.  Below are some things that I hope help you to triple the fun this season.

  1. Be optimistic:  This is soooo much easier said than done yet it can be a foundation of happiness.  If you go into the Christmas season thinking like the Grinch what kind of Christmas do you think will happen?  A Grinch-like Christmas!  Being optimistic does not mean being unrealistic.  Thinking you will please everyone this season is not realistic and you are just setting yourself up for failure.  Instead, take the time to think about what you would like to do this Christmas and how much of it is realistic.  Once you have the framework you can then form a plan around it.  For me personally, I had to be ok with not seeing my father on Christmas in order to spend it with my mom.  This greatly reduced the stress that I would experience on Christmas day.  The reason is because I did not spread myself too thin and it allowed me to truly enjoy my time with them.
  2. Budget your gift giving:  I know this does not sound like it could possibly lead to an enjoyable Christmas.  Just hear me out.  Dr. Henry Cloud who has a Ph.D. in Psychology said this about giving, "giving is sharing what we have, not what depletes us".  What he is saying is do not give out of obligation.  Give because you want to and because you can.  What you give is only limited to your creativity.  For a long time, our family did a name drawing every Christmas and set a dollar limit.  Over the years we have changed this to a white elephant gift exchange with a dollar limit of $25 per person.  The way we play is a little different because we also added an additional gift of something from our house that we do not want anymore (this is always really funny to watch).  The best part is the game creates a great experience for the entire family with stories to last over the years.  Personally, my wife and I have created guidelines for the rest of the gifts we buy.  For example, we always buy gifts for our parents but set a dollar limit.  When it comes to gifts for kids we determine the amount based on their age.  A two-year-old does not need an expensive gift because they will not remember it.  A $5 toy is just as much fun as a $100 toy.  Oh, how I miss those days.  Lastly, after this Christmas, total up what you spent on gifts and put that in the budget for next year so that it does not smack you in the face again next December.
  3. Find meaning and purpose:  Spend some time thinking about why everyone goes crazy during this season.  Is it really all about this gifts?  I sure hope not.  It has been said before that "a life without meaning is no life at all".  No one can answer this for you.  It has to be discovered on your own.  Take the time this season.  Who knows maybe the Christmas season will become your inspiration for the next year to come.  Talk about being optimistic!

From our family to yours, have a Merry Christmas!